Safe, Sane, and Consensual: Words That Don’t Describe Planned Parenthood

Warning: frank discussion of adult content in this article, including BDSM and other “kinks”. 

As a friend of mine (who may or may not have had a passing acquaintance with the world of BDSM) once told me, “even safe, sane, and consensual have their off days.”

This was in reference to, and I’ll put this delicately, a planned liaison with a gentleman that had not exactly gone to plan. It didn’t end in a trip to a hospital, but it was, apparently, a close thing.

Also, apparently, hilarious in hindsight. Which was why she was telling the story.

Anyway.

The important thing for you to realize is that this happened in the course of events where the man and the woman were both people who often partook in these sorts of sexual activities. They knew what they were doing, they were mature adults, and they had the presence of mind to make adult decisions about what fetishes they were involved in and they understood the risks and took precautions.

Planned Parenthood's Idea of the "safe sex" talk apparently.

Planned Parenthood’s Idea of the “safe sex” talk apparently.

They were not 15 years old that read Fifty Shades of Grey and suddenly thought acting out that line in that one Rihanna song sounded like a great idea.

Apparently Planned Parenthood doesn’t see a difference.

I have a multitude of issues with Planned Parenthood, starting with their founders intense racism and ending with the sheer amount of my tax dollars that goes to fund it, but this video is heading to a spot near the top of the list of things I despise them for.

This video gets really weirdly specific and even the “age restricted, extended footage” on the Planned Parenthood Exposed website, where even more detail is included still contains long stretches that are muted where the nurse in question is apparently sharing long streams of graphic personal information, sharing her own sexual experiences, with a 15 year old girl.

There’s nothing appropriate about that, especially not in the context of teaching a teenage girl to use whips during sex.

The undercover girl starts the conversation about sex with questions about whether or not role play is “normal”. This quickly derails into the nurse explaining how to be a dominatrix…only her suggestions involve using google to read BDSM blogs and reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically the worst sexual advice on the planet. She’s discussing whips and handcuffs and hitting your partner and this is, based on the uncut footage, without the girl asking about these topics whatsoever. The nurse started this line of discussion completely voluntarily and goes on at great length to explain BDSM practices (usually incorrectly) to a girl who isn’t even old enough to have a driver’s license yet. She also recommends porn sites to a girl who is too young to legally visit or view that sort of content and tells her that she should watch it with her boyfriend. Not only is porn highly unrealistic, but in the context of BDSM (or even straight up vanilla sex) there is nothing “beginner” or “safe” about taking your cues from pornographic content.

Not only is this line of discussion highly inappropriate, but it is also not teaching “safe” sex to any extent.

If two adults who have been practicing BDSM safely for years can nearly put one of them into a situation where a hospital visit might be needed, what do you think the damage will be to a 15 year old girl and her 17 year old boyfriend when they pull out ropes, whips, and handcuffs with Fifty Shades of Grey and some amateur porn site as their guides?

No one I know who is involved in this kind of lifestyle would recommend it for a 15 year old. I think most would be horribly disgusted by this woman’s “safe sex” advice in fact.

This nurse is far too eager to share her “knowledge” of kink with a teen girl, rather than giving her actual advice on safe sex. One has to wonder if Planned Parenthood provides any sort of training to the people who are going to be discussing sexual practices with minors and, if so, is this part of the recommended discussion? Do they hand out packets on how to teach kids to take part in BDSM? If so, what the hell?

I have no problem with BDSM, as I said on facebook earlier today: Whatever floats your boat, as long as you are both into it and it’s consensual. However, these types of sexual activities require maturity, experience, and levels of trust that teenage girls and boys are simply not capable of dealing with. End of story.

This is not the “safe sex” advice kids should be getting, whether or you believe that kids should be getting The Talk from government funded organizations or not. This is not what my tax dollars should be paying for, because in doing so you are making me complicit (non-consensually) with dangerous sexual practices that can get anyone of any age, but especially a 15 year old, hurt on a good day…a bad day doesn’t even bear thinking about.

While this conversation might have been consensual, there was nothing safe or sane about it and Planned Parenthood should be ashamed.

 

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Categorised in: Feminism, Politics, Sex

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