Rick Santorum Declares Theocracy Necessary

 

Using the NSA to make sure people are practicing Christianity. Refusing public services to people who aren’t Christian. These are just a couple of Santorum’s new ideas for using “government force” to convert Americans to his beliefs. Is he right?

The former Pennsylvania senator and candidate for the Republican presidential nomination said yesterday, in a speech to the Northeast Religious Conservatives Conference, that “a theocracy is necessary for the redemption of America.”

Why has the world lost respect for us? Why are there so many unmanageable conflicts abroad? Why is our economy still in the gutter? Why is our education system failing millions of students? Why is half the nation on some sort of government benefit? Barack Obama is only the tip of the iceberg. The real problem is, we have abandoned the faith of our forefathers. The way to restore it is by having a government informed exclusively by traditional Christian principles.

He went on to state that many Americans have abandoned their faith while still believing in a higher power. “They’re tolerant of other religions. They’re tolerant of disobedience to God’s commands.”

In his opinion, God won’t settle for people merely believing that he exists and doing nice things. “The kingdom of God is not somewhere you get just by being an okay person. This nonsense needs to stop.”

He addressed the group, which met in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania to discuss the challenges facing conservative Christians in “the tolerant century”, with remarkable candor. “Quite frankly, the message we get sent from media, entertainment, and academia these days is B.S. The message is this: either Christianity is false, or that it doesn’t matter if you’re Christian or not. Both are absolutely evil. You can’t go to heaven by being a Hindu, an atheist, a Muslim, or a pagan.” He also went on to say that you cannot really be a good person unless you’re Christian. “Not only are people who aren’t Christian not going to heaven – they’re going to hell. Because it’s only Christianity that teaches us to love our neighbor and do good deeds. Only our religion teaches us charity, and the way to properly honor our creator.”

But it’s not just people who aren’t Christian who are going to hell – it’s so-called Christians who disobey God.

Today we have a whole lot of “Christians” who think it’s okay to be homosexual and Christian – that’s, quite frankly, crap. You can’t be a Christian and homosexual, or bisexual, or pansexual, or whatever the heck people call themselves these days. You can’t be a Christian and have premarital sex. You can’t be a Christian and use birth control. You can’t be a Christian and believe that women should have jobs outside the home. And if you can’t be a Christian, well, you can’t be saved.

Progressives, however, have convinced millions of people that it’s okay to be a sinner, as long as they don’t do anything “really bad, like kill somebody.” They believe that tolerance is the highest virtue. Santorum claims they have been influenced by the devil and that “the devil teaches us there is no truth.” Since the Progressives are so prominent in the government and other social institutions, they spread the devil’s message to all of society. To combat this, socially conservative Christians must take over the country. “There is no other way. There is no more peaceful solution.”

Although his comments will be described by many as cruel and hateful, Santorum didn’t speak out of hate. “I love atheists. I love homosexuals. I love Progressives. I love all sinners. That’s why I want to convert them.” The most efficient means of doing that is through “government force.”

And what would his proposed theocracy do? It would take over the major television networks and every Sunday broadcast a church service, “preferably a Catholic mass, as I am Roman Catholic” says Santorum, “but any Christian service will do at first. The primary goal is to get people to be Christian and act in accordance with Christian values. What kind of Christian, we’ll worry about later.” (This drew laughter from the audience, which consisted not only of Roman Catholics but Eastern Orthodox, Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Baptist, and Evangelical Christians.) All schoolchildren would be issued Bibles and led in prayer every morning.  Any university receiving state funding would have to require their students to take a course in theology as part of the core curriculum. The new government would make gay propaganda illegal, “following Russia’s example.” It would punish anyone (through fines on the first offense and imprisonment on subsequent offenses) caught behaving in a manner that suggested they were homosexual, such as holding hands with someone of the same sex in public. Any openly gay individual would be denied a job in a government-controlled sector. The same would go for people who are openly transgender, atheist, non-Christian theist, or Progressive, and also for people who have had children out of wedlock and married women “whose time is better spent doing housework.” People employed by the government would lose their jobs if they failed to attend church every week without a valid excuse.

On the topic of foreign policy, he wants to end aid to any country that isn’t predominantly Christian, and believes we should only fight wars “on behalf of Christians.” He also hopes other countries will see the merit of a conservative Christian theocracy and establish their own. “That is the way to peace and prosperity for all around the world.” He spoke little about issues such as poverty and healthcare, although he did say “we can worry about our economic problems once we take care of our social problems. Religion, sexual morality, and traditional gender roles are the way to do that.” The government would convince more people to be Christian by imposing heavier taxes on non-Christians and denying certain services such as Medicare, SNAP, and Section 8 housing to people who don’t identify as Christian. It would also “put the NSA to good use” by making sure the people with a lighter tax burden were really practicing Christians. He says, bravely, that he doesn’t mind installing cameras in places of worship to see who is there and punishing people who have lied about their religion, as well as listening to phone calls and reading messages to gather whether or not people are living Christian lifestyles. Recruiting people to do these jobs would help Christians struggling with the poor economy, he says.

Well, he has a point there. Anything is starting to sound like a good alternative to where we’re heading under Obama, and quite possibly under another Democrat in the years to come. What do you say: should we heed Santorum’s call for a theocracy?

Just kidding. Happy April Fool’s Day!

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