On Discrimination: Santa Claus and Vintage Dresses

BY: MEREDITHANCRET

I bought a new dress while I was on vacation.

Why?

Because it was 30% off and I absolutely don’t own too many dresses already. *closet door explodes outwards in an ocean of vintage 50’s style dresses.*

Eh-hem, as I was saying.

I decided to wear my new dress today and when I went to put it on I ran into a little problem,

I couldn’t zip it up.

No, I didn’t gain 10 pounds overnight, the zipper was just made in such a way that I couldn’t reach it to pull it up the whole way. I had to get really creative with a hanger to accomplish the feat of getting dressed actually.

It occurred to me a few hours later that this was discrimination.

Discrimination against lonely people.

If I hadn’t been really creative this morning, this dress would not have been wearable. Which, frankly, would have been a real shame.

It’s like the people who created this dress were not considering the fact that some people that wear this dress might not have friends, family, or significant others to help them with their zip in the morning (or in the evening, getting out of the dress will be interesting, I’ll keep you posted) and so they neglected to design a dress that can be put on solo.

To tell you the truth I think I ought to sue.

Not only did this dress visit horrible emotional pain on me, by reminding me that I am a lonely recluse with no friends, but it also gives me the impression that the designer believes that all single people lie around in their sweats all the time with no intent to dress up nicely and get out of the house…that’s only 70% of how I live my life, thank you very much. I find this stereotype offensive.

All clothes should be made in a fashion that is equally accessible for lonely shut ins like me as they are for those with roommates, friends, and significant others.

I won’t stand for this! Lonely people unite!

**************

Did this sound whiny and stupid to you?

Yeah, it did to me too. It was my impression of a liberal.

See, personally I don’t much care what race Santa Claus is, but apparently making him a penguin rather than a jolly old man in a suit is a necessity to make minority children more comfortable.

Now I took an informal poll of all my African American friends asked them if white Santa Claus ever made them uncomfortable or gave them “insecurity and shame”. None of them said yes.

One of them said a black Santa would have made him way more worried…and then told me not to mention his name because he’s worried about being labelled ‘teh razist!’ for having made a joke.

Most of them said that a Penguin Santa was a stupid and ridiculously unnecessary idea.

Now look, I don’t really care what the ethnicity of Saint Nicholas was. That’s not the issue here.

I also don’t care what race your Santa decorations are at Christmas. I’m not going to tell someone who is non-white that they can’t dress up as Santa. Frankly I just don’t care.

I do care that everyone is so stupidly obsessed with the race of Santa.

Santa Claus is based of Saint Nicholas, a Catholic saint who is really pretty cool all on his own. The Santa Claus mythos has a huge background in European folklore and Christmas traditions.

Guess what the predominant color was in Europe for many many years? Yeah, most Europeans are white.

That’s not racist. It’s just preponderance of European tradition.

Changing Santa into a penguin because of “racism” makes about as much sense as getting mad that most people portray the Easter Bunny as a short haired rabbit, but your kids only own long haired rabbits so clearly Easter should be represented by a chicken, to keep your kids from getting confused.

It’s as ridiculous as parents getting upset because a Disney Princess isn’t the same race as their child, so they clearly just need to remake all the Disney Princess as house cats instead, because my child just cannot, under any circumstance deal with a fictional, traditional character that is of a different race than them.

In other words, get over it.

Give me a break.

It’s not like there is a complete lack of representation of Santa figurines that are Black.

Frankly I’m more disturbed at the complete lack of Chinese Santas, how terrible!

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Categorised in: America, Humor, Politics, pop culture

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