Pope Sparkles: the only dictator worth having
(posted by MeredithAncret for Indepgirlism who, for some reason, is on the bad side of our website right now)
Recently, I was given the opportunity to interview a very engaging person. She calls herself Pope Sparkles and she’s asking for your vote for her to become Dictator. Now I know this may seem odd, but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by her candid answers!
Q: It has come to my attention that you are vying for dictator. If you were to be granted such an honor, what steps would you take toward fixing outrageous gov’t spending?
A:”Well, number one: I would cut out useless government spending. Including 90% of the programs that the new deal brought us. And then I would cut out wasteful departments like Education, Energy and the EPA.”
Q:Interesting, so you advocate minimizing government. What is the least useful department in your opinion?
A:”Mmmmm…least useful. I’m going to go with the National Endowment of the arts. I believe true art comes from the heart.”
Q:In your reign, would you be benevolent, hands off or rule with an iron fist?
A: “For the most part I would be benevolent. Not too much with the iron fist as I will be busy fixing things.”
Q: Many have suggested this nation can not afford a dictator. According to the constitution, we should have a president. So, how do you see your dictatorship coming in line with the founding of our country?
A: “Well the reason I need to be a dictator is so I can take over the federal government and get rid of those in congress who are not allowing us to run properly. I have to be a dictator to bring us back to our founding ways.”
Q: Last question: If you do become dictator…may I have one of the Florida Keys?
A: “Oh! Well…hmmmm…since I am only doing the federal side of things, I can only grant government land…I can not give you part of FL as that falls under states rights.”
There you have it folks! A candidate for dictator. Remember…vote early and often for Pope Sparkles.